Being a mindreader and burying the hatchet

Mum has been struggling to fit all her possessions into the new flat since she moved in at the beginning of December. I found her loading a pile of folded sweaters into the kitchen cupboard when I popped in the other day.

That's no good, I said, we must make room for these in your wardrobe. So I looked inside the wardrobe and found some non-bedroom items like Christmas wrapping paper, which I moved to the kitchen cupboard, freeing up shelf space for her sweaters. So all was well.

Next day I went off to the furniture store - which has a sale on - to look for a couple of chests of drawers to give her more drawer space in the bedroom. It's a nice big room, so no problem accommodating them. The one she has will collapse on her foot one of these days and wobbles when you open the drawers.

Meanwhile an email from her friend told me confidentially she had been complaining about lack of space for her clothes. yes, I said, I'm fixing it, no probs.

I found some nice units in the shop, and a bedside cabinet to go with it. Took the brochures to her and said the shop would assemble them for free, so no problem. No, she said, I don't need them. You do, I said. (Of course I couldn't say your friend told me in confidence you've been complaining or that would be the end of that friendship.)

So then we had what can only be described as an argument. Why don't you want new storage space? It would improve your room, give your clothes more space, look better, come ready assembled.

No, she said, but you'll do it anyway - you always get your own way. No, I said, I don't - you wouldn't have your eye lens lasered, you won't have a hearing aid, you won't let me put sticky on the back of the rug so it doesn't trip you up, you won't play your TV above a whisper.....

Stop, stop, stop, I thought, what am I doing? Forget it. I'll buy some drawers for my office, I need them anyway so it wasn't a wasted trip.

So we went out for dinner and buried the hatchet, had a lovely time and will book dinner there in a couple of weeks when my brother and family come up.

And another thing, she said, things are so bad that all empty properties will soon be taken over by squatters...........

Ahhhhhhh, I thought, that's what's going on. She thinks her unsold bungalow will be hijacked by squatters and she'll be penniless because it won't sell. Say no more. I'll keep quiet.

Just as well I'm a mind reader.